Wake Me Up When September Ends
by gallowsCassibrator
Summary: Bonus Stage's obligatory My Immortal parody. Has this kind of thing been done before? Of course. But not for BS. Crossposted to my LJ, as evidenced by the author's notes. IF U FLAM UR A PERP
1. Chapter 1: Deirdre

AN: fangz 2 my bff esmerelda 4 profeading dis stroy!!111 u rok!

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Hi my name is Deirdre Onix Depression Esmerelda Lee and I'm 18 years old and I live in Charismaville, New Jersey. It sux there. I have big bobs and long black hair w/ red streaks and I have alot of peircings. Im also a vampire.

Today I woke up to the smell of smoke. My apratment was burnign down!!!!!!! I was rly scarred, because my parents dyed in a fire when I was only 5. I died to but some1 turned me into a vamp so I wasnt dead anymoar. No i lived on my one.

I grabbed al my gothic close (I was wering my big black Good Charlotte t-shirt and black pajama pants with skulls) and my Ipod and ran away. Befour long da apartmint was all teh way burnd down.

I had nowere too go. I wanderd thru the streets for awhile, lookin for a place to stay. Then.............I saw a gothik man standin outside a house!!!!!!!!!!!

"sup dawg" said the man, who wuz wearin a black My Chemical Romanse shirt, baggy black skatre pantz with lots of chanes, and blak vans. He wuz relly hot, with long blond haire that sumhow wasnt preppy and brite blue eyes.

"Hi my apartment just berned done," i explaned 2 teh man.

"omg that sux!!!!!!!!!" he said emfatically. "U can cum inside me if you want lol," he added.

"That wood rock!!!!!" I exclaimed, and we went inside.

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AN: fangz 4 reedin mah storee, i hop u liekd it! IF U FLAM UR A PERP!!!!!11


	2. Chapter 2: Meet The Motherfukers 11

AN: KOGRAPOW STUP FLAMBIN U PERP DERDRE IZ NUT A MARE SEW

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Tha hose ws so goffik the walls were black w/ red trimm and da furnichur wuz red an blak. ther was anothr gothik man on da couch. He had spiky blak haire wif ornge streeks and was wreaing a black t-shit wit a pentagarm on it and tight red jeanz and blakc boobts. "Wuts ur name?" askd the man.

"My naem is Deirdre Onix Depression Esmerelda Lee" I sad back.

"Im Joel Dawson lol" said the man. "dat guy is Phil Argus but ppl call him Dragon now cuz hes gothic."

"hai" I sayd 2 dragon

"Hey Deerdre" he ejaculated. He wass watchin Godzilla on tv (geddit cuz godzila iz liek a lizrd an lizreds r leik dagruns).

"Des any1 els live hear?" I axed.

"Ya, thers this vampyre gurl named Rya and also Jessica who is Dagrons mom but shes hot so its ok. Also a lamp lol"

"Is teh lamp goffik?" I esquired.

"NO SHE IS A FUCKIN PERP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" exclammed Jole.

"OMS DAT SUX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111" i shooted bak.

"ya but shes gud in bed." 

"o ok."

Just then............a goffik gril wif red hare cam in!!!!!!! She wuz wering a black korset thiny, a blod red miniskitr, an blak hi heels. "dis is Ria" explaned Jowl "she is a vampire."

"OMS so am i!!!!!" I gushed.

"hay bich" sade rya "Wana maek out cuz im bi?"

"Ya bcuz im bi 2!"

I mad owt wif ray. Suddenly.......................................a perppy womon with glases and grean hares cam in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111


	3. Chapter 3: Hab Da Seckz

AN: y rnt u guise revewin?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?/1/1/1 IM RITIN DIS 4 U GUYS AN I DEMADN RASPEKT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

ASLO EMSERALDA U ROK BUT WERES MAH SEKSI POSTAR???????????

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"hoo is dat?" i axed Rya.

"Taht iz Elly" reponded Ria wit distain.

Ely was vary perppy she had on a pink polo shitr frum Amerikan Egel an a wite minyskirt and pink hi heals. She wuz rly ugly even tho Im bi so i liek grils lol.

"WUT R U DOIN HEAR!!!" scrammed Ellie "I DUNT EVAN NO WHO U R!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!"

"My naem is Deirdre Onix Depression Esmerelda Lee an im goffik!" I pro-clammed.

"ew" sayed Elly. I punished her in da faic an laffd. Every1 els laffed 2 accept 4 Ally.

"O deirdra ur so goffik" spoek Dagron. "lest hav smex."

I took of my close and hee toke of hiz pantz. he had a rly big man-carat and it was seksy. He putted it in mah vajina an we had the sex rite ther!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Butt then...............................I locked out the windoe an saw a gay in a bron shit with a videro cameron an he was tapign us fuking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111


	4. Chapter 4: In Which There Is AIDS, Maybe

AN: EMSURLEDDA U TUK MAI BOFREND AN MY POSTR 2 FUK U U FUKKEN POZR 

AN GERARD Y R U DATEIN ESMUREDLA I FOUGHT U LOEVD ME

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"ANDRE SOTP TAEPIN US HABIN DA SECKS" ordurd Dragin angerly.

Da guy outsied dident lissen so i gut up (rameber im stil neked lol) an woked out teh dor. Ten I puched him in teh faec!!!!!!1111

"ow my noes" he sade.

"Das Androw" estranged Ray. "hes a jerk an a posr. Hes fukign dat fukin prep Eli and also da lamp."

"EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!1" i swelled. "WUT A SIKC FUC"

A lapm wif fucksha haire an no bobs pooped up. "IM NUT A LAMP I AM JOON" she roryed. "JOWL STOP MASTICATIN 2 DAT SHO ABOWT VAMPYRS"

Jole had bin washing a shoe on tv. It wuz abot vampz. he had hiz hueg pen out an was storking it. "y?" he squestioned.

"BECOS YOUR A PREVERT" sed Jun lodely.

Teh 2 ov dem had a fite rite then an Zaire. then.................................the strattled smexfighting!!!!!!!11

"oms!" sed Drogon. "wut if shi haz aids?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?/1"

"Joel dose 2" Ria poonted out.

"orite."

Jol 1 teh seckzfite an Dagron jized in his pantz (geddit cuz hes bi). Then....they maed out!!11111

"oms!!!!!!" i said.


End file.
